this is the way

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Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:36:55 +0100

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Sat, 13 Apr 2013 14:07:29 +0100

funny, you’re the broken one, but i’m the only one...

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 01:27:33 +0000

funny, you’re the broken one, but i’m the only one who needed saving. ‘cause when you never see the light, it’s hard to know which one of us is caving.

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Fri, 15 Mar 2013 22:41:40 +0000

We’ll Meet Again | Vera Lynn We’ll meet againDon’t know where,...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 01:26:27 +0000

We’ll Meet Again | Vera Lynn

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where, don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 23:22:52 +0000

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 23:19:49 +0000

don't ask me what your sacrifice was for

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 23:00:53 +0000

Surely the screaming could be heard from the other side of the palace. It was heart-wrenching—long and loud and utterly, utterly broken. In between the piercing shrieks were tiny, broken little sobs that sounded a little bit like a name—Sully. Sully. Wendy Callaghan’s bedroom had been overturned completely, books torn and scattered on the floor and a scattering of broken glass where the fragments of mirror had fallen. The bedding had been torn from the mattress and was currently draped over the weeping form of the girl on the floor. She was on her knees, curled around herself with her forehead touching the floor as she wept. Small hands clutched at the bedding, the carpet, her hair—anything they could cling onto and tear at.

It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment she’d broken. She’d always been a silly little fragile thing, right from birth. Shattered by a stray harsh word or a slap, undone by death and completely torn apart by her own mind. Is a person born with the capacity for insanity or does the world inflict it? It was a question that had always hounded Wendy, when the world looked dark and her only friend was the bottle. Voices in her head and scars on her skin and so many, many dead boys.

No, the time couldn’t be chosen, not exactly. There’d been so many offences, so many opportunities for a fragile mind to bend and break. Her parents had thought Versailles would snap Wendy back into place, shake her back into the subservient little girl she used to be. But the palace made the voices louder, the cuts deeper, the hurts harsher. Wendy had snapped like a spinal cord in a car crash. And it had hurt so much. She’d spiralled so far she wasn’t even visibly insane, not anymore. She could laugh and joke and act like the happily expectant mother, but under the surface Wendy wasn’t there any more. Whatever had made her the person she was died with Sullivan.

Maybe that was when she’d truly broken. Maybe she’d lived—her spark had survived—through childhood beatings and the constant press of perfectionism on her shoulders and losing the love of her life and going down, down, down into the darkness that had welcomed her so readily. Maybe she’d survived all that. She’d even survived Sullivan dying, because her broken mind had twisted that too—no please he’s coming back right he’s coming back he promised he wouldn’t leave didn’t he he’ll come back like the others did—

She’d finally realised he would never come back to her through a vision. It always came back to her power. Everything did. And though she’d tried to suppress it, to push it away from her, it always came back. After shoving away her visions for so many months, this particular one hit with a vengeance. At this moment, she could barely remember what the vision had been about, but she’d seen grassy hills and the sun and a tall white castle. And Amber. She remembered Amber. Older and world-worn, but still the beautiful woman Wendy knew. Sadness had etched lines into her face, and somehow that was what told Wendy.

Sullivan Hornbrook truly was gone.

She awoken from the vision slumped over her writing desk, and immediately it had hit her. Dead dead dead gone— From that point, it was blurry. Smashing sounds and tearing pages and maybe breaking the window—she wasn’t sure—all she knew was that now she was a quivering heap on the floor and—she cried out again. Sharper, this time, agonisingly ripping from her throat. Her hands flew to her stomach as she sat up on her knees, cheeks red and wet and hair plastered to her. Her hand went to her mouth and she bit down on her fingers as another ripping sensation tore through her.

Maxwell? It’s too soon—! A coughing cry escaped her throat as she scrambled to her feet, shrieking as the pain tore through her again. No no no, my baby! Her head was suddenly shrieking, agonisingly crystal clear and she knew what she had to do. Hospital. They’ll fix it. Stumbling towards the door, one arm wrapped around her middle, she flung it open and tried as best she could to stay upright with the pain in her abdomen coursing through her. She kept one hand on the wall as she stumbled along, trying to ignore what was happening.

She could feel something wet, warm and sticky flooding down her leg, and when she touched her thigh her fingers came away sickly red. Clapping her other hand to her mouth, Wendy tried desperately hard not to vomit, instead focusing all her energies on making it to the wing designated as the hospital ward. She could not lose the only part of Sullivan she had left.

She rounded a corner and caught the eye of a guard standing at a doorway, who saw her pale face and a flash of blood on the floor and ran straight to her. “Princess? Wendy?“ Eyes rolling back into her head, Wendy collapsed backwards, her head hitting the floor with a sharp smack.

The days were catching up to Arabella, and after the other night she had to reevaluate a bunch of things before making a steady decision, and to be honest she just needed a sign to let he know that it would be okay, that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to leave. The halls where pretty cold, so she hugged her sweater closer and spotted someone from the far end of the hall fall; instantly she stopped and giggled a bit, that was not the sign she was going for, but as she started walking again she recognized the figure: Wendy. Arabella started running towards the girl and the guard, “Wendy!” she screamed, she crouched down and tried to move the girl a bit before she noticed the blood, she was too feeble, something was up. The guard picked her up and they rushed to the Hospital Wing. Once there the nurses took over, but Ari didn’t even detach herself from her friend’s side. She asked for a sign, this was definitely not what she meant.

The world swam back into focus, a sharp shock of shouting and pain and red hair. Wendy moved almost as if underwater, hand struggling to rise and touch the swollen skin of her stomach. Had she made it to the hospital? She supposed she must have: she was lying down and people in scrubs were running about and shouting orders. Wendy just wanted to sleep. She tried to tell them so, but the words stuck in her throat. All she could feel were sharp jabs at the crease of her elbow and the back of her hand as the doctors roughly pushed the drips into her, desperately trying to save her. She caught words from the doctor hovering above her.

“Haemorrhage… bleeding out… baby… gone…”

A deep wracking cough overtook Wendy and her head flopped back to hit the pillow, too weak to hold up her own head. Her head was spinning and her every nerve was screaming, but through it all she felt a small, cool hand slip into hers, and she knew that her best friend was beside her. Always beside her. She coughed once more, feeling a ripping in her chest from the exertion on her fragile body and the wetness of blood on her lip. She heard a deep sob from the redhead next to her, but it all felt so far away now. She tried to swallow back the blood rising up her throat, but choked, the crimson liquid spilling out and over her chin.

Her weak fingers tightened around Ari’s hand and she heard the breath rattle through her own lungs. Everything was fading, her eyes losing the sight of the room, but she wasn’t scared. After everything, after all she’d been through, she wasn’t scared. Wendy had never believed in Heaven, but she was starting to.

Ben and Sullivan and her baby.

She turned her head, using the last vestiges of strength, and smiled in Ari’s direction. There were still doctors screaming and Ari sobbing and maybe Wendy was still crying too. But she couldn’t feel it—it didn’t matter any more. Her fingers squeezed briefly at Ari’s hand, and then she went still. Her eyes fluttered shut and she drew her last breath.

Gone.

God, it's been dreary here.

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:58:23 +0000

samuel-worthington:

[ He smirked, nudging her. ] No I won’t. Promise. [ He nodded quietly and looked away for a brief moment. ] I do. Worry about myself too, I mean. But Amber’s more important to me than I am, okay? She’s more important than anything right now. I want to keep her safe. And if that means…not thinking about myself for awhile, then it’s fine. I don’t care. [ He shot her a grin. ] I have a right to be.

{ She grins. } I think you’d suit chubby. Like a bunny. { She reaches out to poke his cheek softly. } Good. Well—not good, but—adequate. I worry about you. { She grins back. } Then I suppose I’m in for a treat. I’ll be suitably excited.

samuel-worthington: That doesn’t sound like the full truth. Well… it’s…...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:58:17 +0000

samuel-worthington:

That doesn’t sound like the full truth.

Well… it’s… bittersweet.

Why wasn't I shipped off to Ireland?

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:58:13 +0000

beccacallaghan:

I know, I know. Antisocial princess makes friends, call the media. [She laughed, shaking her head] Well, the guys I met…they had nice other things and accent so it did something for me. [She grinned at the mention of his name] Finn! Is he here?

London for a few weeks with this girl I met, almost went to Australia too but apparently, that was too far.

{ Wendy grins. } We joke, but it’s good you made friends. Is there anyone here you get along with..? { Her eyebrows shoot up. } Other nice things? { She smiles. } Yeah, he’s here. You know what he’s like though—he’s not around much. Probably hiding in his room fiddling with a guitar.

Oh? London’s great. Did you go to Camden? Whenever I went, I always thought you and Cadey would love it there. Mm… Australia. Always wanted to go.

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 18:59:55 +0000

Stay | Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko Funny you’re the broken...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 12:29:07 +0000

Stay | Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko

Funny you’re the broken one
But I’m the only one who needed saving
‘cause when you never see the light
It’s hard to know which one of us is caving

Why wasn't I shipped off to Ireland?

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:17:10 +0000

beccacallaghan:

I had friends which I know, is very surprising for me. [She smiled] And everyone has Irish accents there.

I did, actually. A lot.

{ Wendy laughed. } Friends? What are these mysterious things you speak of? { She laughed again. } Irish accents have never done much for me. Besides, Finn Gallagher was all the bloody Irish I needed in my life.

Good. Did you go anywhere else?

Why wasn't I shipped off to Ireland?

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 22:07:23 +0000

beccacallaghan:

While you were here - I did some traveling.

{ Wendy laughed. } And what was so magical about Ireland?

…did you like it, though?

little talks | becca & wendy

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 22:05:31 +0000

beccacallaghan:

“Can I frown and bear it?” She inquired, a halfhearted smile forming on her lips at her slightly humorous comment. The girl was still a bit iffy with her sister, the words she spoke to her feeling awkward. And she didn’t want it to be that way. As children, the two had been relatively close until teen hood hit and they both drifted - Wendy moving onto Ben, Becca still clinging to Cadey. However, there hadn’t been a noticeable shift until they both lost their halves. They both had become emotionally distraught and ended up taking it out on one another which in turn led to this awkward phase they were currently stuck in. But Wendy was one of the only people she had and whether she wanted to believe it or not, she needed her. Meghan was too flaky for her liking, Wendy was constant. Wendy would be there for her this time. No she won’t, her resentment called from the back of her mind. And there it was. The everpresent battle she faced with her sister. To let her back in or shun her for her past mistakes. She knew it was wrong to hold it against her but it was something that had staid with her, a lingering hurt. Now with a few sessions of therapy - it would probably disappear but she wasn’t going there. The child wasn’t crazy, she didn’t need anything like that. Or at least she believed she didn’t. Brushing it off, she nodded at her sister, “Training or illness. That I can pull off.” Becca replied quietly, moving her suitcase behind her as she began her descent into hell.

Her bright eyes took in the familiar sights around her, all but the looming castle ahead. The entrance to the gardens she practically lived in as a child came into he peripherals bringing an involuntary grin to her lips. It was as if she could still hear the childish laughter that Cadey had emitted as they chased each other. As well as memories of other various activities she would never admit to. It had been a sanctuary for the child, a place she could be free from all her pressures. However, it was harder to stay in her sacred spot after the death of the girl who had sat there with her. It had become a memorial of sorts then, a collection of white tulips arranged neatly around the site. She wasn’t sure if they would still be there and that saddened her.

Becca paused for a moment, collecting herself, she couldn’t think about that anymore. Cadey was long gone and she needed to move on, had to actually. “I still don’t think mum has figured out my hiding spot in there,” The brunette began, nodding toward the gardens. “Think I’ll be safe?” She called back to the older sibling, a light tone to her voice. As she turned her head back, a crease formed on her forehead at the look on Wendy’s face as she passed the guard. It’s as if she went to nervous to fuming in a split second. But of course, she recovered. That was Wendy for you - you never could tell how she felt, her emotions buried. Becca figured that’s where she got it from - Wendy had been main influence growing up so she didn’t doubt it.

The teen stopped as Wendy bustled past her, a look of confusion overtaking her features, her head moving slightly at the notion. A question arose on her lips but it stopped before it became audible. She wouldn’t question. She knew this place didn’t bring back great memories for her either. She began again, following after the elder, cringing at the ruckus her bag was causing. Eventually she caught up, mimicking her gesture of smoothing her clothes. After a moment, she looked up, oceanic orbs filled with what looked to be anxiety, “Ready?” She asked quietly, letting out a strong sigh as she looked to her sister. A part of her wanted to reach out and grab her hand as if she were a child again, that little bit of innocence lingering in her. This was scary. It truly was entering the mouth of the beast. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to relive her past right now and that’s why she wanted to reach out to Wendy. Because she knew how Becca felt because maybe, just maybe she was feeling it too. Eventually she decided against it and pushed the door open quickly, averting her gaze.

Becca entered the palace, her gaze falling upon the bustling maids, who all turned to look at the princesses. The girl simply pressed her shoulders back, lifted her chin and offered a pleasant smile like any good princess would. “Fake it till you make it.” She mumbled through gritted teeth to no one in particular. A movement on the stairs grabbed her attention, her azures widening at the sight of her parents. “Hi.” She squeaked, the noise almost inaudible.

Wendy laughed, looking over at her little sister. “You can deal with it however you want, Becs.” Suddenly, Wendy was overcome with a wave of protectiveness; of love for her sister. While they’d never been close—and maybe they never would be—Becca had always been the one who understood. They would always disagree on things, but Wendy suspected she would never see eye to eye with her family. But maybe she could start to connect with Becca. They’d always been the odd ones out—a triangle and a square in a family of perfect circles, but that was why they were the same. Maybe they weren’t the same shape on the inside, and maybe Becca would never be able to forgive Wendy for all that she’d done, but their similarities lay in their differences, and for now, that was enough. Becca was the one Wendy loved, and she knew that she would do anything for her little sister. And she could start by making it up for not realising that sooner.

Returning to the castle was harder than Wendy had thought it would be. Everywhere, there were little pieces of the life she used to have: over there was a little bit of her childhood, and over there was the spot where Wendy stopped being a little kid. There was the place her father had hit her for the first time, and there was the place where Ben had first kissed her. Everywhere, so many memories. The spot under the stairs where she used to play, out of the way of her sisters. The door behind which lay Becca’s bedroom, where giggles used to emanate from, filling the entire castle every time Cadey stayed over. Wendy was barely through the front door and she could see it all. She took a deep breath. She needed to show her parents she could be mature, that she could survive on her own.

Wendy grinned at Becca. “I don’t think she could ever find you, if you truly wanted to hide.” For a moment, Wendy wondered what it might have been like to have Becca’s power. She had the ability to disappear completely and never be found. A slightly wistful expression crossed the older girl’s face, and smoothed back into place as she caught her sister looking. She knew Becca had seen the earlier split-second of fury, and she smiled sadly. “That man… that guard… he was there. On the night I tried to run away.” She didn’t think she could say Ben’s name—it felt like sacrilege, in this place—but she knew Becca would understand. Swallowing hard, she noticed her sister had stopped dead in her tracks, and eager to be away, Wendy let her hand rest gently on Becca’s back, just between her shoulders, and propelled the girl into walking faster, though the girl had already begun to walk again. They stopped before the huge double doors into the castle, and Wendy turned to her sister anxiously, noticing with a start for the first time that in fact her ‘baby’ sister was now in fact taller than she was. She blinked slightly before shaking her head with a smile. Slim hands brushed at her skirts, grinning as she saw Becca do the same. “Ready.”

She waited for Becca to pass through the doors before Wendy joined her, slightly reluctant to actually be in the palace. Instinctively, Wendy’s hand went to Becca’s. When the child had been first born, Wendy loved to hold her tiny pudgy hands and sing to her while Meghan looked on with scorn. Even though the two girls where now much older, and Becca’s tiny baby hands had transformed into the neat, slender digits of a grown woman, it still brought the same comfort. Wendy squeezed her sister’s fingers gently, hoping she wouldn’t shrug her off.

The maids’ stares threw Wendy off slightly, but eventually her eyes found her parents descending the elaborately carved staircase. Wendy glanced at Becca momentarily before smiling at her mother and father. She heard Becca mutter something. Fake it ‘til you make it. Good advice. Wendy smile grew slightly, becoming more confident, more princess-like.

“Mother. Father. It’s so good to see you.”

Explosions | Ellie Goulding Explosions, on the day you wake...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:40:56 +0000

Explosions | Ellie Goulding

Explosions, on the day you wake up
Needing somebody and you’ve learned
It’s okay to be afraid
But it will never be the same

samuel-worthington: [ He offered her a sad smile, before tucking a strand of her hair back behind...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:38:49 +0000

samuel-worthington:

[ He offered her a sad smile, before tucking a strand of her hair back behind her ear. ] Promise? Promise they’re happy tears?

“Of course. I’m happy. I’m happy.”

God, it's been dreary here.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:38:42 +0000

samuel-worthington:

[ He shot her a wide grin. ] So what if I am. [ He nodded faintly, looking away briefly, before locking eyes with her once more. ] Fine. I know. I just-…At the same time, through all of this, I still want her. Love her, and need her, and all that. She has that on me. [ He grinned, shaking his head. ] Oh, you won’t be slapping me. I’m right on this one.

{ She laughs. } You’ll get chubby one day. { She nods seriously. } I know. I know what it’s like to be in love, Sam. I also know how—how unhealthy certain kinds of love can be. So just make sure you’re looking after yourself, too. { She grins again. } You’re so sure of yourself, Samuel.

visions of tiny feet - Charlotte & Wendy

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 21:38:36 +0000

charlotte-bourbon:

She smiled at the reaction on the other girls face, it was so nice to see her smiling like that. “Try not to think like that. Nothing’s going to happen if you look after yourself and your little miracle.”

“Of course. It’s all gonna be fine.” Her hands slipped back down to her tummy again, and she grinned shyly at the older girl. “I’ve gotta go now—going out to collect Ari’s birthday presents—but I’ll see you later, yeah?”